number 10
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Number four

#4 gave me the passion I waited for. Not so much erotic passion, but the mind-fucking passion, a craving for what simply was not there!

She was a director, doing various kinds of theater. She had big tits, a big car and an adventurous life. In my work, I was at a dead end, completely fed up with the people and the subject of my research. I welcomed the change in my life, going to the beach, wild people, a lot of noise. Desperately willing to change my life I made plans with her, for going to Africa, having a baby, doing theater projects. I was not in love with her so much as with the idea of giving another turn to my life.

Perhaps the most dramatic aspect of my relation with her is that, in that time, I definitely broke my relation with #1, which was even then still lingering on.

I wanted to change my life, and commit myself. Soon, however, I found out that #4 was still fooling around with her ex-lover. One evening, we had been out, she suddenly announced to go home by herself, smiling vaguely. I got angry with her, and slapped her on the face. After a while, we got back together, but she kept teasing me, using phrases such as "we will see", "do what you like" and "look at the way you are looking at me". She found a weak spot alright, but it was all a game to her, and she was a mean player. I had learned a lesson the hard way, I thought.

The episode had taken only a few months. It was a very hot summer, like this summer. I was disappointed and sad. I decided to concentrate on my work, finish my Ph.D. and not to fall in love again before that.


[] readme preface one two three four five six seven eight nine ten afterthoughts resources

(C) Æliens 2005

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