number 10
[] readme preface one two three four five six seven eight nine ten afterthoughts resources

talk show tell print

Paris -- New York

We agreed to see eachother another weekend in Paris. "To check it out." We spent the weekend in the hotel, making love and telling eachother the story of our life. She told me about her anorexia, her attempt at suicide, her use of drugs, her sexual experiences and her dependencies on doctors. "Doesn't it scare you?", she asked me. "A little", I said. "But I am glad you told me." She also told me that she was a demanding woman. I told her about my relations with women, the confusion my multiple relations had brought me in, and the solitude of my current life. We had smoked some joints and were tuning in to eachother rapidly, physically and mentally. When the weekend came to its end, we had to decide whether to continue with eachother. It took us about three hours over coffee to say "YES", committing. I left with the train, excited, with pain in my heart. Back home, I called #6 and told her 'things are going fast." After a month, I saw #6 again, to exchange the little stuff we had of eachother. I had made her suffer a lot, but I didn't want to feel guilty about it. My life had to go on. Yet, I told her that I still cared for her very much. Which was true, I still do, and I miss the intimacy that we had.

I was excited. She had everything. She had the spirituality and wittiness of #1. She had the sensuality of #2. The sexual experience of #3. She was as adventurous as #4. She had the liveliness and radiance of #5, and the sensitivity and need for intimacy as #6. What more could I wish for? There was only one problem. She enjoyed to be touched, but she could not touch. She would learn, in time.

Back in Amsterdam, I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her for almost a month. Walking to my work, I suddenly got the idea of flying to New York to celebrate my birthday with her. She was delighted, and impressed I think. We had a lovely time. We walked in Central Park and made a wish. We had to keep silent about the wish, but for the both of us it was obvious what we wanted. We also visited the MOMA, where we felt very close looking at the paintings. In the evening, she dressed up and took me out for dinner. My birthday dinner. As a present, she gave me a pen and a photo of herself. I was impressed, and when I saw her undressing later in the hotel, the thought of having her as my wife occurred to me. Man and wife, in a classical style. Back in Amsterdam I called her a number of times and we wrote eachother letters. We were desperate to see eachother.


[] readme preface one two three four five six seven eight nine ten afterthoughts resources

(C) Æliens 2005

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